erstood. Outside the U.S., it refers to a farming method where livestock roam free and uncontained, however in the U.S., “Free Range” applies exclusively to poultry, and means “bird with a small outdoor patio.”. Most of us envision an all-inclusive chick resort where fat-breasted birds sunbathe topless, sipping drinks on a lanai overlooking a tropical paradise. In reality, “free range” means a cage with one end exposed to the elements. “Free range” turkey is out of the question. They;re stupid and require a full roof over their heads, otherwise, they’ll stand in the rain with their mouths agape, and drown.

“All natural,” doesn’t restrict the presence of growth hormones in meat, nor does it exclude organisms that have been genetically modified. The term “organic” is held to a strict list of policies, procedures and requirements before deeming a product worthy of that distinction.

The “no trans-fats” label, at least, is true, but in most cases, no trans-fats were present to begin with. The same for “Cholesterol free.” “Low-carb” is relative, the governor’s criteria being 20 grams per serving. Any diabetic can tell you, over time, that number might get you in trouble.

Studies reveal no appreciable benefit from choosing organically grown products vs. cultivated varieties. Meanwhile, consider the danger of ingesting a chemically-laden Hostess Twinkie, chock full of preservatives and pure cane sugar, anything but nutritious, but we owe our youthful skin to Hostess cakes, pies and Twinkies.